As I reflect upon the past twelve months, my take away is resilience. Being able to withstand change, uncertainty, things that didn’t work out, and conflict. Most of this was based on expectations and how attached I was to an experience. Calling it an experience helps keep it more universal and neutral (“What is this teaching me? What is this showing me?”) instead of individual or personal.
What we may be attached to can be quite a long list: a plan, a person, a viewpoint, a job, an outcome, finances, decisions, a routine, a goal, and so on. At its intensity, there’s a clinging energy, a contraction that can be noticed in our emotions, body, and mind. The more we hold on tightly to the attachment, the less room there is for spaciousness and flexibility in our being. We can have a relationship to something that is close to our hearts, but also allow for something different or new to be included, or just some breathing room!
A visceral grip on an attachment can cause us to feel imbalanced in our bodies. Emotions may escalate. We may think that “it” needs to be right or we need to be right, instead of acknowledging that we probably don’t know the whole story, or that there’s something else on the other side.
There’s also a distinction between attachment vs. power. For (a light) example, I can have a healthy or unhealthy attachment to my phone. For me, I don’t need to be on my phone at all times, and I don’t have 4G. Sometimes it's led me to be creative or plan things out in advance, but it’s not a big deal. If you get angry about not having 4G, someone not having 4G, not having your phone with you, or someone not being on their phone to reply to you immediately, this shows your attachment! :D
When an experience has power over you, it feels defeating, destructive, like you are trapped, or shatter you to your core. Is there something that has power over you? How much power does it have? Certainly the pandemic may come to mind, but also other difficult experiences that overstay their visit. How do you work through it, rise above it, and step into your own power?
Spoiler alert: there’s no magic, one-time, one-size-fits-all formula. Sometimes I hear people say that there was a specific facilitator, healer, modality, or experience that helped create a significant shift. To that, I say that there was safety and trust, but also all the work that the person had done to lead up to (or be ready for) that moment to receive it, not resist it. Then allow plenty of time for integration. Rest from doing. Get quiet. Sit with yourself. Re-organization will take place physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically. You'll then more naturally make conscious choices that keep you going forward and not back into old patterns.
As we close out 2021 and move into 2022, it’s an opportunity to notice what you may be attached to or what may have power over you. Create space with it. Not away from it. Find what else can be included. Be aware of what you may be excluding. Bring in unconditional resources. They are always there to support you. See what the universal need is for you. Go beyond the surface level. Stay humble. Yeah, check that ego!
Feel what you are grateful for. Connect with it at the heart space, not the head space.
Wishing you peace and joy for the holidays!