From Resistance to Acceptance
It’s been a crazy couple of months in two different ways. Crazy abundant with my work in a state of flow, especially after a long period of reorganization on the micro and macro level. Our individual lives, our professional lives, and the world that we live in— it’s all interconnected! I see the past three years as time and space needed to get clear on WHAT I wanted, WHY, and HOW I’d put things in place. The guidance that I’d often come back to was— Is this for my highest good? Is this coming from my heart or ego? With that, I set my intentions:
I want to be part of a conscious, warm community
My life path is to be in service to humanity and the spirit world
I was willing to do the work; I just needed to be pointed in the right direction.
A key part was saying ‘yes’ to Alameda, a northern California city that I moved to in March. Returning to the States was not something I desired. For me, living and traveling abroad the past 15 years was my lifestyle. I loved exploring, getting to know different cultures, making friends from various countries, and connecting to the world. With the pandemic, I got (and felt) stuck in California. I had strong resistance to stay in the US.
With this noncommittal energy, anything that I was trying to cultivate was also noncommittal.
Once I accepted being in California for awhile, my thoughts and emotions naturally shifted to creating longer-term relationships.
Within the month of October:
-I got hired to teach yoga at Yoga Garden/Moxie SF.
-I got hired to teach yoga at Yoga Amansala in Alameda.
-I got hired as a psychic medium at Feathered Outlaw, a metaphysical store in Alameda. I call this place my Harry Potter family! All kinds of magic is here, and everyone is warm, caring, and down-to-earth.
-I got hired as a volunteer at The Center SF, a teahouse that holds conscious events. It has the high vibe feel of Chiang Mai, which was my home pre-pandemic.
-I had the highest number of bookings in a month for private sessions (TRE® and Family Constellations) than any other month all year.
-I sold out all 14 spots for oracle card/psychic readings at Witchfest, an annual outdoor event in Alameda put on by Feathered Outlaw.
It felt like I had over-manifested! In short, my journey the past 3 years could be summarized as: feeling off track at times, other times on a very slow moving train; thrown on track inside a high speed moving train; shifting into a speed that I can manage.
The other part of the past two months was receiving a serious diagnosis about a loved one. Accepting this news was very difficult, especially since certain decisions on this person’s behalf needed to be made sooner than later. I went through shock, overwhelm, fear, despair, and sadness— all part of the body’s natural process to work through a difficult experience. I made it a habit to ask myself: How am I doing on the mental, physical, emotional, and energy level?
It was important to let myself feel, observe my sensations, track the body, and allow the energy to safely move out. This helped to better choose what I needed: spaciousness, rest, slowing down, or support. I could then make decisions from a more grounded state.
My learning from October: Our own resistance blocks movements trying to go forward, even when we want change.
A big holiday season begins here in the US with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the western New Year. It can stir up a lot of emotions— joy, pain, and everything in between. May we practice grace and empathy for difficult experiences and gratitude for simple intimate moments.