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The Power of Being Seen


Obon dori, a Japanese festival I attended to honor my ancestors. Buddhist Temple of Alameda, California. July 2023

Being ‘seen’ is a universal need, whether you are a child, adult, or even the Dead.


When the unseen become seen, a huge shift happens. There is a beautiful awakening for both the see-er and the seen.

On the contrary, what does it mean to remain unseen? To be hidden, ignored, or avoided.


Imagine what happens when we are unseen. We might feel inadequate, lost, angry, hurt, confused, or sad. We may withdraw or call attention to ourselves to be seen. At times, we can sense that a person, a group, or an issue demands to be seen.

Sometimes all it takes is a small gesture for someone to see or be seen. This connection happens at the heart level. It is much deeper than being polite, removed from any expectations, and does not involve the ego.

Notice what happens when you greet and make warm eye contact with a baby in a stroller, your local grocery store cashier, the bus driver, or anyone that you would consider ‘neutral’. In a safe environment, this is how we can practice understanding, feeling, and expanding the human connection.


In the work of Family Constellations, being seen is one of the core principles that facilitates healing. When we identify ourselves or others in a certain and limited way, we may only feel seen or see others in this limited way. When we see someone in a deeper way, this naturally creates a shift within us.


If there has been a lack of closure with someone who has passed, this tends to hold us back in life. There is something that needs to be seen, said, heard, or known. This often persists until it is addressed.


During Evidential Mediumship readings, the Dead appreciate being seen! When the passed loved ones are at peace, they are overjoyed when the sitter greets them by name; when a warm memory about them is shared; and when they are able to bring through a message. In daily life, they may send signs to those who are most receptive to receiving them. It can be a simple hello to say, “I’m here.” Other times, they show up to help, listen, or support. When I get a sign from the Spirit World, I respond with a warm smile and say, “I see you.”


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